Thoughts from 2023

Last year I did my first Year Compass, a nice lil’ booklet (a free one!) which helps you reflect on the past year and set intentions for the next one. I recently dug it out and had a flick through to what I wrote for ‘The Year Ahead’ (2023).

What does the year ahead of you look like? Why will it be great? What would happen in an ideal world?

• new job at Outverse: new things to learn, new connections, new skills
• rekindle my curiosity in coding
• more mind/body connection through movement and dance
• take up space and not put myself down
• grow and spend time with authentic connections
• compete in my first adult nationals competition for figure skating
• find more joy + collective effervescence (“the sense of energy and harmony people feel when they come together in a group around a shared purpose”)

I think this is the first year where I haven’t been super duper focused on achievements. It’s been a year of going more inwards; going more with the flow and listening better to my curiosities and what brings me joy; and occasionally asking myself ‘am I wanting something for me or because of how it looks to other people?‘. I’ve also been navigating how to manage my energy, and taking some shame-free rot time when I have some bad brain days. 🥲

It’s pretty cool looking back at that list and realising it’s a pretty accurate representation of my 2023.

I’m now nearly 1 year into my new role and I feel super lucky to be in this position with a wonderful team building some cool stuff. I feel like I’m constantly learning new things and I’m lowkey glad my creative curiosity has somewhat come back with building side projects (and also going to my first tech meetup (Future of Code) was inspiring!!)

Movement and dance has been huge for my mental and physical regulation; it’s been a form of creative expression (and a form of neurospicy stimming) and has helped me to re-connect with my body. We haven’t always been friends (and I haven’t always been the kindest to her), but I’ve realised over this year I think way more about how I feel in my body rather than how it looks. So after years of being at war with myself and trying to make myself smaller, it’s nice to just be. :)

My biggest change of the year was changing my name! Diving deeper into my ancestral lineage, learning Tagalog and embracing my Filipina self within my identity has brought me a surprising amount of comfort in my sense of self. Although it hasn’t been without harder emotions - learning more about the history of colonisation and hearing the stories and experiences of what my ancestors went through seemed to unlock a new kind of emotional anger. It’s made me incredibly grateful for the life I get to live now, building on the foundation they’ve laid throughout struggle and sacrifice.

Another thing I’m grateful for this year is getting to spend time with lovely people; it’s especially nice to feel comfortable to unmask more and have more experiences where I feel socially safe.

ALSO getting a new kitten this year was very nice, I gained a new lil’ bestie in cat form and he is just the best 😭

Anyway I’m intrigued and excited to see what 2024 brings ✨ so yeah, happy new year folks! 💜 let’s gooooooooooooooo!!!